Merry Christmas
by Charlie Grayson
Summary: "Dick Grayson sat in the hallway, wearing nothing but his black boxer shorts, a Santa hat, and a ribbon bow tie. He had a drunken smile planted firmly on his thin lips, his eyes closed behind the furry lining of the red and white hat which had been pulled over his eyes." Barbara gets a special Christmas present from the Boy Wonder. ONE SHOT


**Hey guys! I know I'm late on my update from last weekend, and I should be working on that and the one for **_**this**_** weekend, but I saw this on Tumblr and thought it was humorous. **

**It was a little story by ****birdboywonder****. You should definitely look this blogger up, for they grace my Tumblr with the most awesome posts. In his, Dick is given to Wally instead of Barbara. And yeah. Don't hate me, but I ship Dick/Babs more than Birdflash. Sorry.**

**But, the point is, I'm giving him credit because he wrote it and I liked it, so I'm merely changing it to my liking and lengthening it. But it **_**was**_** inspired by him. So only **_**aspects**_** belong to me. The idea belongs to him. Seriously. **

**I keep repeating this because I don't want him to read this and be like 'Oh, she stole my idea,' and be all mad because that is seriously my favorite blog. Ever. And the fact that I don't mean to seem like I'm stealing his idea, I just loved it to no extent. **

**So, enjoy. And remember, not my idea. Just making sure you heard it the first time. **

********************************LINE BREAKER!********************************** **

It was just supposed to be a small party for the older members of the Team, and some of the ex-members. Specifically, Mal, Karen, Conner, M'gann, Wally, Artemis, and Dick.

It was Christmas, and young, mature adults such as these were allowed to have small gatherings and do things they'd very much regret in the morning. It was in their nature.

However, no one intended a certain younger speedster/beetle-themed hero duo to sneak in and start slipping vodka into the beverages. That, on top of the other drinking the party-goers were doing, got most of them pretty highly intoxicated.

By midnight, most were stumbling over their vowels and walking in zig zag lines across the beach outside the cave. Mal and Karen had gone into the beach, drunkenly having a splash war. The water particles flew through the crisp night air, but both were too drunk to realize that it was far too cold to be in the water. Both eventually fled to the warmth of the inside of the Cave on orders of a quickly sobering Wally.

M'gann ended up passing out after violently vomiting into the salty ocean spray, and Conner carried her inside, only slightly buzzed himself. Apparently Kryptonians don't respond that much too human alcohol.

The only remaining participants of the once large group being Wally, Artemis, and Nightwing, Bart and Jaime having fled after being busted by an already drunken Wally and scolded by Artemis, though neither necessarily understood her mumbled threats.

Now, the three sat around a large fire, Wally and Artemis cuddling together a few feet away from Dick, who's head continued to roll around on his neck as though he were about to fall asleep. The cackling of the fire echoed into the silence of the night, only accompanied by the soft rolling of the icy waves.

Dick grunted softly, trying to form words in his mouth which seemed to be numb. "Ey, 'ally?" he mumbled, his head settling on leaning forward. His blue eyes had come unmasked somewhere between drunk and completely wasted, and were now squinting as his friend through the dim lighting, a lopsided grin on his open mouth.

"Yeah?" the speedster said, already sober. His metabolism had burned through the alcohol fast enough for him to baby sit the other heroes, and record a few hilarious moments. He smirked at the way his friend glimpsed through his own eye lashes at him. Artemis looked up also, her head jerking into alertness.

Artemis was the excited kind of drunk, the kind who want nothing more than to have fun all the time. Everywhere was a party with her when she'd had a bit too much.

Dick was much the same, although much calmer about it. He still enjoyed having fun, though he was droopy and sluggish in his actions, whereas Artemis' instincts kicked in and she was fast and alert. Both made Wally smile, because he was usually the only sober one.

"I miss 'abs." the words were stifled, and the boy was no longer smiling. A childish frown sat upon his pale skin, the corners of his mouth hanging slightly downwards. Images of his second favorite red head floated through his groggy brain, times when she'd cared for him when he was drunk, or when she'd cover for him when he went home one night to Alfred and Bruce waiting and he was just a little bit toasted.

Artemis jumped up suddenly, standing excitedly before both the boys with her arms spread before her, as though latching onto something to steady her body. "I got it!" she cried, complete and utter happiness singing her voice.

Dick now looked more awake, though still sleepy. He leaned forward on the makeshift seat made out of a dried and hollow tree trunk, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He muttered something that closely resembled a 'what', signaling Artemis to explain her drunken theory.

"You're going to be my present." She said, as though it were the best idea in the entire world and she was certain her two-man audience would absolutely love it. She even crossed her arms and closed her eyes, a confident grin gracing her tanned skin.

Both Dick and Wally seemed confused, Dick mumbling something about how that's illogical because no matter which way he bent his legs he wouldn't fit in a box while Wally simply said, "Babe, I'm your present…"

"No, no, no!" Artemis cried, already exhausted from explaining this a multitude of times. "Come on, Boy Blunder." She mumbled, reaching down and grabbing Dick's hand in her own and dragging him after her.

"Mkay…" Dick slurred as he groggily followed behind her. Wally sighed, realizing there was no way to stop this, and it might be insanely hilarious if she was doing what he thought she was doing. He stood and followed, kicking sand on the dying fire as he went.

********************************LINE BREAKER!********************************** **

In Gotham University, the girls' dorm building, there was a certain hallway with highly maintained lights. The carpet was clean, despite its retro 80s look, and the walls were white, lined with propaganda posters advertising school spirit.

A few girls walking down the hallway, probably going home after their own Christmas parties, giggled as they went passed Dorm 482. Though, it was not so much the dorm as it was the package awaiting outside the dorm.

Dick Grayson sat in the hallway, wearing nothing but his black boxer shorts, a Santa hat, and a ribbon bow tie. He had a drunken smile planted firmly on his thin lips, his eyes closed behind the furry lining of the red and white hat which had been pulled over his eyes. He was cross legged, his masculine back facing the door to the room he was sitting in front of. A shiny red ribbon bound his hands behind his back, and a bow had been sloppily tied around his neck, with a small tag that hung off the end of the ribbon used to tie it with.

_**To: Babs**_

_**From: Santa**_

_**Merry Christmas**_

"Grayson?" a familiar voice asked curiously, clearly a girl passing by who noticed his predicament. "What the hell?"

He felt her tug lightly on the hat that had been shoved onto his head and he opened one eye, the drunken smirk growing tenfold when he saw the familiar blonde hair.

"Bette!" he cried, his entire face lighting up. He wiggled slightly in his bondages, but he found he was way too drunk to free himself from one of Artemis' complex knots.

"What happened to you, Playa?" she smirked, pulling the hat up slightly more to reveal both azure eyes. The older blonde squatted on the ground before him, the keys to her dorm and her car jingling slightly with her motions.

"Art'mis and Wall-man." He slurred, closing his eyes in contentment. He felt light he should be trying harder to free himself, that his care-free attitude was drug induced. But the warm, cottony feeling inside of head felt so nice that he ignored those thoughts and only smiled wider. "Shhhhh!" he hissed, "Don't 'ell Barb'ra."

He could vaguely hear Bette laughing in front of him, but he didn't care much. He felt this warm sensation all over his insides. _It must be the happiness,_ he reasoned, caring very little just how illogical that explanation was.

"You let Artemis and Wally do this to you _again?_" Bette asked, raising one eyebrow and smirking slyly.

"Mhmm." Dick mumbled, refusing to open his eyes once more. He nodded numbly, his bare fingers fumbling with the small gap between the floor and the bottom of Barbara's dorm door.

"Bette! Let's go, I'm tired and forgot my key!" suddenly there was a brunette, one that Dick knew he knew, but her name was lost to him. She had almond eyes, round and big, that went even wider when they looked upon the half-naked, drunk boy bound up in her hallway.

"Here, let yourself in." Bette called, tossing her keys to her apparent roommate. She reached forward, fingering the tag and scanning the letters sloppily written on it before smiling to herself. "Come on, Grayson. Let me help you." She said as she stood. Rapping her knuckles loudly against the wood of the door, she hurriedly made Grayson presentable to her old friend.

Wrapping her slender fingers around his bare shoulders, she helped him turn around so he was facing the door. "Pull the 'at down!" he whimpered, frowning again as she walked away, leaving the hat to fully expose his drunken features. She nodded, trying to stifle the laughter with one hand while the other pulled the Santa hat down to cover his closed eyes once more.

Bette Kane then rushed after her roommate, disappearing into the depths of the clean hallway.

The door opened, revealing a tired girl with dark hair. She wore pink striped pants and a red tank top, rubbing her closed eyes with the palm of her hand. "What?" she said harshly, her eyes remaining closed.

Dick frowned, completely blind to his surroundings. "You're 'ot Babs!" he accused, leaning forward until his chin hit the girl's knee.

Instantly, her eyes widened, a completely stunned look over coming her features. She reached down, reading the boy's tag, then smiled knowingly to herself. "Damn it, Grayson. I was hoping you were _my_ present." She said, turning on her heel to go fetch her roommate.

"Maybe it you're good next year, Cass." Dick murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, not knowing Cassie was no longer in front of him. He heard her waking Barbara up, and Barbara unwillingly walking to the door, then the quiet squeak of the door hinges as she opened it…

"Oh, what the hell, Dick?!" Barbara said, leaning sideways in annoyance and popping one hand on her hip.

Dick's smile grew even more when he heard his best friend's voice. "Surprise!" he shouted, leaning backwards until he felt his back collide with the carpet and his still-crossed legs in the air.

********************************LINE BREAKER!********************************** **

"Come on," Barbara murmured, leading Dick (who had blatantly refused to remove the Santa hat, regardless of what Barbara said to him) to her room. "Let's go to bed, Pixie Boots."

"Good night, Cass!" Dick screamed at the top of his lungs, blindly following his friend's guidance as she led him through the small dorm. "She didn't say it back!" he pouted when he received no response from Barbara's roommate.

"She's already sleeping, Dick." Barbara said patiently, pushing gently on the man's shoulders so as to get him to sit down on her mattress. He fell into the bed, already tired and exhausted, accepting the warmth of the sheets into his tired body. "There, go to sleep, okay?" she said, walking back towards the door to turn off the lights.

After she melted into the blankets once more, already feeling the blissful tendrils of sleep nipping at her consciousness, she sighed in contentment, feeling Dick's body next to her own help warm the bed.

"Hey Barb?" Dick whispered into the dark, his voice so quiet and groggy Barbara barely heard (or understood) him.

"Yes, Dick?" she asked, knowing he was still drunk. A good night's sleep would wear it off of him, and hopefully a good day's worth of teasing from everyone he'd come in contact with would keep him from doing it again anytime soon.

"Merry Christmas." He mumbled, and she knew he was asleep as soon as the last syllable fell from his alcohol-tainted lips.

********************************LINE BREAKER!************************************

**AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. That is ehhhh. But its something.**

**Merry Christmas guys, or Happy Holidays. Whichever you prefer. **

**Look at me, being politically correct and stuff. Proud of myself. **

**REVIEW.**

_**~Charlie~**_


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